Marr's Golden Rules to Derby Bootcamp

In celebration of my first 6 months of derby, I've come up with (cue for the trumpets: ta-ta-ta-taaaaa!) MY very own RULES to derby bootcamp! Tighten those skates, strap on your (no, not the strap-on bleeeeep! but the pads) cover your head with your helmet and sit back AND READ. Then follow the rules. I beg of you to:

-1-

STAY LOW

God gave you knees that bend, use them wisely and often. Stay low, bend down, and if your back doesn't hurt (that lower portion?) then chances are you're just not bent down low enough. And when in doubt for why a skill is just not working out for you: chances are, it's because you just aren't assuming the derby stance.

-2-

LOOK

Look behind you, around you, not just ahead of you. The action is behind you. Its all about what's coming up - the jammer passing you, the blocker getting ready to catch up and *ouch* slam into you. Use that neck of yours and turn around. Practice doing laps where you are constantly looking behind you. And, then look behind you from the other side. Get used to it - the more you practice looking behind you the more you'll actually enlarge your perception width.

-3-

SHARE

Come on, share with Sugar Bear! And I'm not talking about your candy bar or your Pacifico, although THAT would actually be nice... Share the info. Tell your teammates what's going on. Even if you are looking behind you, there are things you may not notice, "Jammer - coming up!" "On your inside!" You get the drill, don't ever assume others know what you know. And it'll make you a better teammate - others will know they can rely on you and they'll (hopefully) want to play with you more.

-4-

GET UP!

We all fall down. All of us. It's not if you fall that matters, its what you do after you fall. Your team relies on you and needs you. Every player on the track is actually indispensable to each other. If you fall and stay down, then you are letting your team down. And every time you let your team down, they slowly learn to not count on you. And that sucks. You may still be in bootcamp (like me) so now is the time to make it a habit. Get the fuck up. Fast. Quick. If you're hurt, then get off the track - the least you can do is not become an obstacle.

-5-

HURRY!

Derby is a sport. And most sports involve speed. Hurrying isn't solely about how fast you can skate but how fast you react. And as long as you're still in bootcamp, this often means how quickly you respond to your coaches commands. I know, "command" sounds harsh and military'ish. But, it is called bootcamp for a reason after all. Practice time is so limited, add up those wasted minutes it takes everybody to get on track and in a pace line when asked, and those minutes quickly build up to hours. Hours of wasted time waiting... Again. Take everything you do in bootcamp to build positive habits. A positive habit is easier to keep up than to undo a bad one. (Yeah, trust me, I've got the flailing arms to prove you I am so friggin right here!)

-6-

OWN IT

I so wanted to stick to a pretty number like 5 or 3. But I could NOT end this without talking about the primary rule to learning anything in life. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for what YOU learn. And that - is golden enough, I don't need to explain it.

Simple enough? These are my rules and I'll see you at the track!

A Change of Pace

Last night's practice was handled by superstar Crushin Cuban.

The practice was amazing. Our group was at it's smallest in numbers: only 8 Level 1's showed up. This gave us an amazing opportunity to get one on one coaching tips from Cuban. And she upped the ante by pushing us in giving it our all. One by one we had to sprint around the track then had about 15 feet to stop before slamming into our peeps standing in a line across the track.

We had to do this over and over again. I'm loving the over and over learning strategy... And if she felt we weren't giving it our all she'd yell at us. It was amazing! I crossed the line between comfort zone and slightly out-of-control zone and even in the way-beyond-control-zone. Have I mentioned it was amazing?

Also, last night was orientation night at the Dollhouse. Once a month (the third Monday) the Dolls have an orientation night to initiate new recruits. This is the 2nd New Meat Night since I joined. Just like in the movies, military boot-campers stand and watch the new recruits running and smile thinking "Aaaah, welcome to my life and finally somebody new to replace me in the role of worst dude out there".

The March recruits disappointed me. These new girls were all instantly better than me. I was still on the bottom of the totem pole. I'm hoping April will bring in a new wave of freshness where I may start feeling better than average!

OK, so I'm joking. Totally. I'm a better person than that. I think. Maybe. No seriously, I really am just kidding as I'm sitting here sipping my morning latte madly typing away on my little laptop (I thought you needed visuals, you did didn't you?)

AND LASTLY... Monday is also the weekly night for scrimmage! I stuck around and volunteered to be the videoWOMAN and tape the entire bout. YAY me! It was such fun and excitement. I'm a tekkie geeky kinda person, and when there's buttons and technology involved I'm in heaven...

That's all for now... See y'a at the track peeps!

It's All In Your Head!

Last night we focused on a specific skill: turn around toe stops. This video demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about, minus the mach 5 speed caused by cliff diving off the banked track.

Sounds easy?

We started at the upper point of the banked track, rolled straight down, dropped off the 2.5" ledge then had 10' to stop. On my first attempt I tried my most successful stop: T-stop. I was thrilled I didn't slam down on my butt with the cliff dive when I dropped off the track, but my stop only got me a little past the 10' line.

Not good enough. As I stoically skate back up the track at the end of the line I can't stop from shaking. I was frightened! And I had to do it again. And again. And again. Etc.

Noticing only 2-3 girls mastered the toe stop within the 10' limit, the coaches lowered their expectations. We skated to the other end of the track, lined up at the top, but this time we rolled down to the side of the track rather than directly down the steepest line. With this new approach our success rate now hit over 10 girls.

I cheated. Before dropping off the ledge I'd slow myself with a mild T-stop. And I got yelled at... Why am I so scared? These coaches see everything. Everything... Do you think they made it there by letting sly details slip by? No way!

Why did I cheat? I've got some un-rational fear of pain. Totally not rational. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of NOT dying after going through extreme pain. True story, word yo. So, now I need to work on my head to rid it of stupid fears so I can do a quick turn around then apply pressure on my toes.

p.s. Ever since I started stuffing my shorts with homemade butt pads, I haven't slammed down on my butt once, coincidence? I'm ready to make it a science project and see how long I go with the pads as some kind of placebo effect... Worth a try.

she is covered in tats and is a kick-ass coach

Let me tell you...

We have an amazing coach. I don't know what her day-job is, but I wish she could quit it and dedicate herself entirely to coaching. This is her calling. She's covered in tats, skates like she was born with wheels on her feet (oh her poor mom, that must have been sooooo painful - feet first wheels and trucks pushing out?) Is that visual stuck in your head now?

Yeah. Me too.

Her skater name is Kiki. She's a jammer. I watched her bring our league in the last bout from a 89-101 in points to a 100-101 in less than 3 minutes. She was amazing to watch. We still lost, but the audience will always remember her as the one who almost saved us...

Last night's practice had us split up into 3 groups. Kiki took our little group of middles, or intermediates rather. She worked us on the banked track until we all mastered every stop style: t-stop, snowplow and toe stop. There must have been some weird thing going on with the moon, we were all so tired on the verge of coming apart at the seams. But we hung in there. That's what derby girls do!

And I dare say there is definitely some bonding taking shape among us all. I guess it comes from yelling "Get back up and HUSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLE!" with a red-blue face when we fall. (The screamer would be me)

p.s. I need bum padding.