Tips From a Dive Master - How to Rid Your Junk From it's Funk!

A "while" after joining the SD Derby Dolls, a more experienced skater overheard something I must have said, I don't remember what I said but she looked at me all serious and told me: "You know, you CAN wash your gear!"


*Head bends down in shame*

That was embarrassing. Further more, I won't go into details about how much longer it took me to actually wash said gear. What can I say? It just didn't smell! After each practice I'd lay all my gear out opened up to dry until the next practice. It was handy that it rested by a de-humidifier...

But then, it happened. The smell. And when you live on a boat in confined areas and a high risk of accumulated humidity, smells can be overwhelming. Love it when it's bacon hanging around all day, but hate it when it's that mildew'ish smell...

I was talking to my dive master about how sometimes if I don't let my dive gear dry completely before loading it inside, it just smells so petrified! Like my roller derby gear - how is it that us humans can have such a smell???

She recommended this miracle of a product called Mirazyme. Don't know if it's pronounced "zeem" or "zyme" but what I do know is it starts with "MIRA" as in "MIRAcle". She told me 1 capful to 10 gallons of water and a 15-minute dip was enough to ... rid your junk of it's funk!

Where to buy this miracle cure? Sport Chalet for $8.99. And no, don't dip your stinky wet poodle* in there, I don't think Fido would appreciate the overdose of enzymes!

*stinky wet poodle is not code word for some weird sex thang, it's just that - man do wet dogs smell BAD!

Hit That Pavement!

Thought roller derby could replace your work-out regime? Or that going to practice could count as working out?

Think again!

You want to be a derby girl? Then start building your endurance now! And the best way to do that is to go out and hit that pavement! You can start by running. You don't need to run a marathon, but just go outside and run. Go easy at first, like a mild jog around your block. But sooner or later you will have to increase your endurance and longer runs is the only way to build that.

OR, better yet: GO OUT AND SKATE! Skating on a nice smooth surface where you practice is one thing, but skating outside on uneven terrain (like going over those ba-bump lines on the sidewalk) with occasional inclines and wind will add to that oh je-ne-sais-quoi degree of difficulty the French judges love slamming athletes in the Olympics with!

And modify your pace, skate or run at 70% of your speed capacity for 5 minutes then insert a death defying 100% capacity sprint for 15-20 seconds where you're teasing that line of in-control-and-outta-control. Keep alternating between both paces until you are blue in the face!

Go home. Shower. Rest. And repeat.

Again and again. Think about the nice lean hard body you'll get! ツ